I have realized over the past few years that so many influences from the culture I was raised in convinced me that comfort—the nice car, beautiful house, Instagram-worthy vacations, letters behind my name, and a certain number in my bank account—were the signs of success. Even things like reputation, the esteem of others, influential connections, and access to exclusive experiences seemed like markers of a life well lived.
But I was wrong.
One thing I did get right was listening to the deep voice of wisdom within me that continually prompted me to keep doing the inner work: getting to know myself, especially my messy shadow, and learning how to meet it with kindness—and perhaps a cart full of cleaning supplies.
Over time, I’ve come to realize that the true signs of success are not visible to the physical eye. They’re not measured in possessions, achievements, good times, or even friendships. Success is an inner sense of peace. It’s recognizing the perfection of life, even when things don’t go according to plan.
Maybe especially when they don’t.
For years, I’ve held the belief that everything that comes to us is a gift. Our role in this game of life is to meet each experience with whatever we’ve got and transform it into something meaningful. I understood this intellectually, but it has taken countless hours of inner exploration, healing, and growth to arrive at a place where I genuinely trust that everything that happens to me is… perfect.
The unexpected detour. The injury in my Aikido class. The misunderstanding that led to conflict.
It’s all perfect.
That hours-long detour placed me in exactly the right place at exactly the right time to experience something profound and priceless that never would have happened otherwise. That injury inspired changes to my self-care routine that brought far greater benefits than I could have imagined. And that misunderstanding ultimately led to deeper self-awareness and greater intimacy with a friend.
Whether we believe we create our reality or simply co-create it with life itself, I’ve found tremendous value in approaching life as though it is working in my favor. When I stop fighting the unexpected, the disappointing, or the broken, and instead bring my gifts to meet them, something remarkable happens. Life becomes less of a battle and more of a dance.
When people ask how I am, I can honestly say that my life is perfect.
I get sick. I have aspirations that may never come to fruition. I make mistakes and do things that could have been done much, much better. Yet deep in my bones, my nervous system, and my gut, it all feels perfect. That feeling is far more valuable to me than any version of success I could have constructed for myself.
I sometimes think comfort is the new smoking. It insulates us from the fullness of the human experience. After all, how many games would we play if we could never lose? How many novels would we read if the characters never faced challenges?
If you know me, you know I keep my surroundings clean and beautiful. But I’ve also come to value the messiness of life. It’s what I’m here to experience. My task is not to avoid the mess, but to make something beautiful, meaningful, and valuable from whatever comes my way.
Are you ready to embrace your imperfectly perfect life?
Not sure where to begin? Let’s talk. I’m here for you—and I’ve got some cleaning supplies you can borrow.
