We’re going to explore, in this post, what the Mother Wound is and how to to heal the Mother Wound, well, at least some of our favorite and most effective ways to heal the Mother Wound anyway!
What is the “Mother Wound?”
As we start to manifest as a third dimensional being, we reside in the universe that is our mother’s womb, very much like the ancient ancestral origin / cosmology mythologies. From the dark void of all possibility, a spark of active consciousness starts to create some thing out of no-thing.
Before we even have fully formed eyes or ears, we are adjusting to the vibrations, diet, sounds, and actions of our universe, the womb of our mother.
If she was gentle, joyful, and healthy, it is bound to shape our perceptions of the world around us as gentle, joyful, and healthy. If she struggled to nourish herself properly (because of scarcity, mental illness, or some other challenge), then that, too, will inform our perceptions.
Imagine the whole spectrum of possibility from a mother lovingly nourishing herself and connecting with the new life that’s forming inside of her, eating, sleeping, moving, and being in ways that are all consciously created to provide the most loving, abundant environment possible for us to thrive all the way to a mother who was raped, abused, unable to make choices for her body, without access to healthy food and other resources, afraid, in pain . . . and imagine all of the myriad of combinations of possibilities that exist and have existed for generations, passed down from grandmother to mother, mother to child, and so on.
We’ve only just touched on pregnancy, now think about all of the influences impacting parenting styles. Wartimes, scarcity, illness, ignorance, peace, abundance, health, vitality, wisdom, and mindfulness.
We got what we got, and whether we can find compassion for why we got what we got, or are still holding on to some painful regrets and other hard feelings, it is likely that no matter what we got, there was some misalignment that left us with an idea about ourselves and the world around us that does not serve our best and highest.
WHAT’S YOUR MOTHER WOUND?
Were you impacted by a sense of neglect and left with an internal message of “I’m not good enough and I can’t get what I need to survive?” If so, you are likely familiar with that experience repeating itself over and over, no matter what you do to get beyond, you may feel like you are destined to always experience a sense of lack in some way in your life.
Were you raised with a sense of intense criticism? If so, it likely lead to a locked in pattern of “No matter what I do, I won’t ever get it right, so I need to always try to be perfect,” which is exhausting. It’s usually paired with success and achievement, but also burnout and a great lack of pleasure and joy.
Were you exposed to intense “helicopter” mothering? Never able to take a risk, skin your knee, color outside the lines because you had a mother who never wanted you to experience any sort of harm? It could have lead to a sense of fear about not being in total control and disempowerment to make your own decisions and trust your own inner wisdom.
These are just a few main examples of some different mothering styles that leave us with ideas about ourselves and the world around us that are painful, limiting, and set to repeat unless the subconscious, wounded programming is interrupted.
HOW TO HEAL YOUR MOTHER WOUND?
So, now that you recognize that there are some powerful influences, also known as programs, that shaped your young self and are now set like cement in the subconscious and running on eternal repeat, what can you do about it?
It CAN feel like it’s hopeless, and there are lots of ways that can be used to attempt to heal that won’t actually yield long term results, and instead of critiquing those ineffective ways, we’d like to share the things that ARE helpful.
The first is to seek a sense of compassion. Can you understand the insidious nature of ancestral wounding? What is learned out of fear and the need to survive is passed down and forward, on and on, and despite best efforts, something dysfunctional emerges because instead of trusting and knowing how to truly nurture the divine essence of a human soul, most of us have fallen under the influence of needing to “play along and fit in” in order to survive.
Let’s all take a moment to accept that we are all waking up together, and there’s been a lot of unhealthy and detrimental systems in place that have influenced us all consciously and subconsciously and despite our best efforts, we have miles to go to shift the flow from the “reverse grid,” or the unsustainable / “power over” mentality to the natural flow, or sustainable, or “power with” approach.
Without compassion for where it all came from, it will be difficult to recognize what and how much of it got seeded into our own consciousness, behaviors, and perceptions.
We need to be able to bring compassionate curiosity about what we have taken on that is not life giving, and find ways to release the draining and unhealthy wounded energies from us, but we can’t do it with the “power over” mentality that caused it in the first place, or we’ll just perpetuate it and unintentionally feed the reverse grid.
“SO, HOW DO YOU REALLY HEAL THE MOTHER WOUND?”
You have to be willing and able to let go of judgments (of yourself and everyone who passed those programs on to you). You can’t hold on to a judgment of someone as a perpetrator and liberate yourself from being a victim. They have to both be freed and elevated at the same time.
What we’ve found to be helpful is staying curious about taking care of and elevating the places that are most clearly stuck, so if you have thoughts that are stuck in stories and narratives that reinforce (aka: repeat) a wounded narrative, you can get curious about what the elevation is.
EXAMPLE: You were raised with the message “Nothing I do is ever good enough,” and you notice that you are repeating that message towards yourself and others. The elevation could be “What can I witness in this moment that is perfect as it is? What IS good enough? Is there anything about me/this other person/this situation that is great? If I can’t find something, what can I do in this moment to create something good enough or even fantastic? What can I do to bring something better to the table?”
“If it is bread that you seek, you will have bread.
If it is the soul you seek, you will find the soul.
If you understand this secret, you know you are that which you seek.” ~Rumi
If it is judgment you pursue, then you will continue to find opportunities to be judgmental. If you seek opportunities to discover the elevation, free from the old programming, you’ll be more likely to find liberation.
That is a lot easier said than done, and sometimes really fully letting it go requires some support, which we provide.
We offer healing medicine circles that are safe and sacred and created to help peel away the layers and access more of yourself, release what no longer serves, and nurture the authentic parts of you that may have been limited or even taken off-line from the influences of your relationship with your mother.
Cacao and sound healing are gentle, feminine, and beautiful ways to access the nurturing and healing that may have been scarce growing up, and for those who are called to deeper dives, our Acacia and Huachuma (Ayahuasca and San Pedro / DMT & Mescaline) ceremonies can accelerate that path of healing.
It is unlikely that any article, podcast, or book is going to help you fully heal your Mother Wound, but our prayer is that this offering and all that we create to provide safe and sacred spaces for your learning, healing, and growth, will equip you with the resources necessary to step out of the Mother Wound you carry and allow you to create and support the next generation coming in without passing on the painful inheritance of the feminine.
If you would like more support, please reach out to us. We do all we can to support our community to access your Inalienable Sovereignty sustainably and joyfully.