When you think of the term “conscious relationship,” what springs to mind?
Some Instagram-friendly image of the perfect boho couple meditating together on the beach, wearing designer shades, Anthropologie curated attire, with fingers in mudras, looking blissed out just as the sun rises?
That could be it, but beyond the slick ideas, what does conscious relationship actually mean?
What about when it gets ugly? Because conscious relationship doesn’t mean things don’t get ugly, in fact, the conscious part is most important when things are messy and the shadows have come out of the closet and have done a nasty two-step across your white sofa and sheepskin covered pillows with grimy, greasy feet.
The conscious part means that you can be present and bring your values and intentions into each moment, especially when it isn’t Insta-perfect.
That can be a worthy life-long practice, but I live in a way that a dear friend recently reflected was “Beyond conscious,” and I realized it applies to my relationship just as it does to the rest of my life.
So what IS beyond conscious? SACRED
Sacred living and sacred relationships are indeed a consistent practice of bringing mindfulness and conscious awareness into each moment from those tropical get-aways to the mundane moments when making a meal or cleaning the bathroom, and especially in the moments when it feels like the bottom may just fall out.
For me, sacred isn’t about worshiping someone or something. That’s religion.
For me, living and relating in a sacred way is about bringing great reverence, respect, and responsibility to the immense gifts that have been given to me like my body, my time, my relationships, my food . . . The more I remember to focus on this perspective, the less entitled I am, the more grateful I am, the more peace and joy I find, and the more creative I become.
A sacred approach to life welcomes in everything that is greater than me that wishes me well, which gives me permission to not try to be perfect, but to strive to be in a good way with my life and all of the elements and resources that nourish and support my life.
I treat my body like a Temple with great respect by resting well, eating healthy food, exercising regularly, stretching and doing energy work, regular breath work, and listening to my body. When I feel the call to rest, I do. When I feel the energy to make something, I do.
I treat my time as a sacred gift because in this human form, it is limited and precious. I strive to use my time to make the world a better place and feed the Holy, which, simply put, means making beauty with what I have available to me in each moment.
So, in my relationship, going beyond conscious partnership, we engage in a sacred way. At times I wish it was always Insta-ready with the perfect outfit and filters to glam me up, but what it actually looks like is bringing prayer into each day, treating our home, not just our ceremony space, as a temple (clean, altars fresh with flowers, water, candles . . .), and remembering that when things feel funky, it’s time to drop into the heart, do my own practice, attend to my own wounds and shadows, come into a place of compassion, loving kindness, and curiosity, and see my partner’s human experience through those lenses.
Our sensual time is prefaced with creating the sacred container and making a conscious heart connection, sharing vulnerabilities and desires, and cultivating healing energy individually and as a couple.
The mundane moments are full of conscious choices to weave in elements of the Holy with Matthew’s children in a way that adds to their diverse experience, honors their sovereignty, and respects their intelligence and personal values. We create openings for sharing feelings, expressing hard emotions, and helping funk move through the body with physical movement and play.
When I have a relationship dynamic that feels difficult and I am not clear on how to proceed in the best way, I make a prayer about it and stay curiously faithful that everything that is greater than me that wishes me well will show me how to show up in a way that brings new and elevated possibilities to the table. this approach has gotten me through some transitions that have wiped out lots of relationships: I left the Mormon / LDS / Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and have been able to navigate the wobbles in a way that lead to complete healing with my parents who ended up supporting me financially when I became a full time priestess without a clue about business. My prayer to be in a loving relationship with my folks inspired helpful conversations that created greater intimacy instead of arguing over differences.
There are plenty of disruptions and “opportunities” for growth, and bringing the Sacred into your approach can amplify the positivity because you can only go so far with your own limited awareness, despite how much effort you may put into every little detail of your life. But when you give up the idea that you can control and instead bring great reverence and gratitude for everything in your life and an intention to feed life with your own loving presence, that’s where the magic happens.
Beyond conscious relationship is sacred relationship, and that relationship is not just a partner, it’s primarily with the Holy, then with your own sacred and precious life, and from there, so much grace can flow.
One of my favorite teachers, Martin Prechtel says something like “The conversations about sustainability that focus on what needs to be done for the humans to survive is missing the point. The conversations need to be about listening to the Earth and honoring the Holy wild life in the ground. Remembering our humble place is the point, not our survival.”
We have so many fears about our survival that we think we do not have time to be in a sacred way in our lives, but that is the great illusion that we’ve been sold to keep us from the great mystery.
If you’re ready for something greater than being in a conscious relationship, invite the sacred in. Let yourself become small in the presence of the Infinite. Spend ridiculous amounts of time feeding and striving to delight everything that gives you life and see what happens. Some things will fall apart, that is certain, but trust me, they are meant to go. What crystalizes will be beautiful and will be truly worthy of the sacred gift you’ve been given as a 3D creature with a body, senses, creativity, and a little pinch of time.
If you feel inspired but also don’t have a clue about how to make this shift, it would be my (and my partner, Dr. Matthew’s) pleasure to support you in creating something even better than a conscious relationship. We’ll help you to manifest a sacred union that includes the Holy and will feed and elevate every element of your life.
Are you ready for what lies beyond?
Get a free ecopy of my newest book: Elevationship: Replace Conflict with Greater Intimacy – https://livingwisdomchurch.org/elevationship and get some powerful insights in how to navigate the messy in the best way possible.
{Let’s explore how to get you into a more sacred way of living your life with this free, no obligation discovery call:
https://amandaeloesh.as.me/sovereignty }
